i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
