You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
