Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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