Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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