dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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