I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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