I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize