I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
