Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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