You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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