I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
