return my video game
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize