we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
