i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
