Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
