if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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