dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
