I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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