her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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