i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Please don't give away my fajitas
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
