My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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