Umm I'm too high to move.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
be right there i have to get my cape
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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