yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
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HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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