Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just sent this text using only my big toe
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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