i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
