There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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