It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
