I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
