everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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