Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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