went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
