brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
