Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
