Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
