Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
