69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
