Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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