I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize