the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
