After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
