the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
