So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
third nipple confirmed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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