I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
