Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
