Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
