If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize