McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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