I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
