Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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