I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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