You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize