I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
