all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize