mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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