it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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