I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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