so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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