grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
