yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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