Barsexuality is the new black.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
