: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
