It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
